2/2/22
Okay, can I just say... I really suck at this blogging thing. I want to make it a daily habit, I seriously do... but honestly, once I do my nightly routine, I hit my bed and I completely forget neglect to write a blog post. I even have "Write a blog post!!" on my nightly routine but I just... skim over it👀
TW: depression/mental health (feel free to skip this section)
I will have a vulnerable moment here, because I'm 100% sure that out of all the 100Devs students, others are feeling the same as I am.
Personally, I have these days (and more-so recently...) where I feel extremely alone. I am seriously struggling lately. I'm dissociating a lot. I'm feeling really hopeless. And I'm trying to find the motivation to keep going, promising myself that once I finish 100Devs, I am going to be completely creating a new life. I will be moving out of my parents house, finally, at the ripe age of 24. I will be leaving Florida to live somewhere new, for the first time in 24 years. A new place will allow me to make new connections, new friends, maybe a new love. I will have my own apartment, my own space, my own decor, organization, and cleanliness that I desperately need and love. I will have a stable career with a very comfortable salary. I will afford things that I want, I will travel to places I have always wanted to see. I will have the time to dedicate to being healthier: more gym time, organizing healthy meals, etc.
But for the next 7 months, I seriously need to focus, and try to get out of this hole that I feel extremely trapped in...
And I think others can relate, I think a lot of us are also dealing with:
Feeling anxious about what's to come. What if we are putting in all of this time and we don't get the job? We don't find success. We don't get that check that we are desperately manifesting, and dreaming about, and planning for. We sacrificed so much of our time, we got our hopes up, we learned and we were so proud of ourselves, we failed and we grew and we kept going, and then we don't get to #ThePromisedLand.
Dedicating this time means sacrifices, which may be affecting our routine and our mental health. I loved coming home from work, relaxing and laying down to watch a show and talk to some friends for a little bit before hitting the gym. I work on my feet from 7 AM to 6 PM, lifting dogs, restraining dogs, dealing with 💩 and blood and pee and anal glands and whatever else comes into the hospital (I'm currently a full time veterinary technician). And now, I'm coming home from work, and immediately getting to coding and 100Devs work before hitting the gym at NINE AT NIGHT. I have never been a late night lifter and I don't think it's as healthy as lifting at other times: my body is fatigued so my workouts don't get optimal performance, my mind is fatigued so I can't make a good mind to muscle connection, I have to eat dinner before gym time which isn't optimal for muscle synthesis and also makes me very tired, and working out before bed keeps me awake sometimes because my body was so active right before I'm going to home to go to sleep. Others may be sacrificing hobbies that they liked to contribute their time to. They have to give up those few hours playing an instrument, listening to music, playing video games and connecting with friends, etc. This is detrimental to our mental health!!!!
Now I'm not saying: doing this work is bad, 100Devs is bad, it's contributing to a lower mental status. I'm just trying to connect with others who feel like they are losing some of their life or losing part of themselves so that they can dedicate this new part of themselves to this new part of their life. It's bittersweet.
While we can mourn the things we are setting aside for now, we can celebrate the knowledge we are gaining, the skills we are working hard for, and the amazing work and dedication we are achieving.
Ok, on to more positive things.
Anyways, today, we're manifesting babyyyy. New moon (new beginnings, letting go of old cycles, releasing what no longer serves you). 222 (harmony and balance in your work, relationships, and life!!). We are attracting unity, harmony, and balance.
I've been coding every day, keeping up with 100Devs work, maintaining my skin care routine, going to the gym and getting those gainz, eating healthy and getting in my protein and green juice, I'm feeling optimistic.
Today, I'm tackling the Advanced Shay Howe stuff. I'm on section 2, and flying through it. I think my technique is to read, write some notes on the important stuff that I should be studying every day, and then use the rest as reference for when I need to apply it to my code. Taking intense notes on every single line that is written is excessive, and we don't have time to be excessive right now. The information will always be there, we can always access it later for reference when we need it. For now, I am reading to get the bigger pictures, taking scarce notes on the most important, commonly applicable things, and then if I need to, I'll revisit it again.
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